Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize
