but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
