jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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