I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
