Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
