were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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