What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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