We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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