So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
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