Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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