PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
