he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
