Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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