dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
