whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
