She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
