Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
