it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
