Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
