This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
