I wish my penis had an off switch
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
