he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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