No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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