Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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