It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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