Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Drunk is a universal language darling
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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