Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
