is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
