Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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