Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
birth control should be required to get into college
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
