i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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