True but thats because hes a fetus.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
