Me too!
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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