You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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