Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
