I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
