I faked an abortion last night.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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