Whod you bang
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
