Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
