I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
