Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
