You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize