I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
