return my video game
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
