Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
