whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
