i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
