no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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