like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
