There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
