I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
