problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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